3 Keys To Goal Setting For INFPs

This post originally appeared in the For INFPs: Dig Deep Newsletter.

Many of us are focused on goals at the start of a new year. We might not perceive it quite like that, but still, we have things we'd like to experience and achieve in the coming year. And we wonder what's the best way to get there.

INFPs have a complicated relationship with goals. We certainly have them. Even though we can be viewed as non-goal-oriented, that's not entirely true. We definitely have things we want, but we don't get there in a structured, linear way like some other types do. We like to have a lot of flexibility in our goal setting.

One of the best ways for INFPs to view their goals is like a relationship you're deepening rather than a mountain to climb. This is how I explain goal setting in my Productivity For INFPs Online Course, as a series of stages for moving with your goal flexibly. In the same way you would maintain and grow a friendship, you walk with your goal along the path ahead.

I thought I’d pull out a few key points about goal setting for INFPs here in this issue. So here goes:

Your Emotions Are Critical

We are introverted feelers, so we go through life emotions first. Not intellect first, not even intuition first, but emotions first, and what that means is that you have to feel connected to what it is you are doing.

In traditional goal setting, you are first encouraged to make a goal specific and measurable. Sounds reasonable enough, right? Especially to those who are more mind-based.

The big problem with specific and measurable for INFPs is that they can decrease the amount of connection we have to our goal. So, basically, we’re shooting ourselves in the foot before we even get started.

In my experience, how I state a goal is essential and may reflect my connection to it. But sometimes, my goal is somewhat vague and amorphous because saying it that way gets my feelings going. Trying to make it more specific can destroy those feelings.

In this way, goals set by INFPs are a little more like "intentions," but that's okay because they can still get you walking forward, and, really, that's what a goal is about. To "pull" you along a particular path.

Now, by all means, make a goal specific and measurable if you can maintain your emotional connection to it. That could make it a lot easier. But if doing so decreases your feelings for it, you've just adjusted your goal in a disempowering way. I would steer clear.

Your Goal Will Morph

Within any relationship, dynamics shift and change over time. This is normal and necessary for the relationship to keep going forward. As the two of you change, aspects of the relationship will as well.

This is also true for any goal you set. Because INFPs need to put their feelings first, you’ll need to watch out for any aspect of your goal that feels stale or “not quite right” after a time and adjust it.

This differs from traditional goal setting, where you are encouraged to plan out action steps from the beginning that you will follow to the end. In this type of goal setting, the idea is to figure out how you will reach your goal right away, and then all you have to do is walk through those steps. It relies on what you know.

In flexible goal setting, you use uncertainty to help you reach your goal by "leaving space" in your action from the beginning. This means that a step-by-step plan to reach your goal is unlikely to work for you. What works better is using present-moment awareness to figure out your next step or two and leaving the rest in the dark.

INFPs often get stuck trying to plan out everything in advance. But, by all means, if you feel it would be helpful, you can work out a loose plan just to gather your thoughts and get your energy going. The key is not to get attached to it. You don't have to follow your plan to the letter. Its purpose is just to get you going.

Just Start Walking

Forward motion is one of the most important aspects of goal setting for INFPs. As long as you’re moving forward, you’re good.

Now, I should note here that "forward" can mean many things. Forward could mean taking a step or two back. It could mean (unfortunately) walking in a circle or wandering around a bit. But sometimes, you must wander for a little while to move ahead.

If you’re maintaining a connection with your goal (you could even visualize this as a “cord” between you and your goal) and allowing space to adjust as necessary, all you really have to do is take the next step. And another one after that. And then one after that, and so on.

You are creating a path as you walk instead of creating the path before you walk. This is perfectly fine for INFPs and, really, is the ideal.

It's not going to be a nice, neat line, and you may want to pull your hair out at some points, but if you keep going and remain connected, you will eventually arrive.

In many cases, INFPs have to figure out alternate ways of doing things than your average person or your more common types. There’s nothing wrong with this, though it does take some figuring out.

Goal setting is no different. If you have goals, great. Remember that this process will look and feel different from what’s typically advised.

Personally, I find traditional goal setting a little dry. Flexible goal setting, however, is rich, alive, and fun.

Amanda Linehan is the author of Productivity For INFPs. She is an independent author, coach, and INFP, who has published six full-length books and has been read in 113 countries.Learn more about her Productivity For INFPs Online Course.